How To Rock At Life: 5 Easy Rules

rock-starI used to hate all things that could possibly be self-help related. All through childhood, high school, and into college, I thought, “Well, I know better.”

Initially, I think I did subconsciously have a good idea of what was right for me. Over time though, the outside advice I got from my parents, teachers, and other authority figures and shaped my view.

When it was time to enter the working world, I was so lost. My inner desires were in conflict with a lot of the advice I was given. I knew what I wanted, but I just had no idea how to get there.

Since the advice I was given didn’t exactly make sense, I added my own flare to it and dove in head first. I sold pretty much all my belongings (save my books and a few choice pieces of furniture), I moved to NYC with barely enough rent, and was determine to fulfill the dream of finding a job.

I started working at a company that constantly encouraged business and personal development. And by encouraged I mean very strongly suggested that in order to grow within the company I should really focus on this.

Turns out, I really like personal development books. They just have to be written by someone that knows what they’re talking about (as compared to the high school pamphlet type ones that I was first introduced to).

Now, I read them all the time for any topic I want to improve. Things like business, relationships, sales, personal growth, spirituality, etc. I even go to the seminars to see what knowledge these highly successful people might drop on an unsuspecting crowd.

And no matter who the author is, they all consistently offer these 5 Rules to Rock Life (my name, not theirs!).

1. Know Yourself.

Absolutely the most important of any rule. It’s great to know that going to the gym is a health benefit, but if it doesn’t suit your personality, it might as well be a message in a bottle lost at sea. Personally I hate the gym, but I love taking a dance, martial arts, or yoga class.

So take some time to figure out who you are:

  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you upset?
  • What your goals are?
  • What you love to do?
  • What you hate to do?
  • Who you like to spend time with?
  • Etc.

2. Do the Things You’re Great At!

I don’t know a kid who instantly thought it was a good idea to study math when they struggled with it. Of course it’s important and good to have an all-around core knowledge; I’m not saying that you shouldn’t know the basics.

But to be successful in life, you need to take your gifts and run with them. The things that come easily to us, and we are naturally good at, are the things that the world needs. They are what make you unique, and are the reason you are here.

It’s unfortunate that these are often the gifts people least value about themselves. We’re taught that for something to have value we have to work at it; but if you naturally have an amazing voice, then that’s probably something you should focus on.

3. Hire Someone To Do the Rest.

Don’t pour your energy into the things you will struggle with. They just aren’t for you. But I bet there is someone who’s unique talents make them the perfect yin to your yang.

The key to success is finding the right people to surround yourself with. Personally, I’m terrible at things like rules and taxes – I just have so much trouble wrapping my head around the fact that half of my income is taken away to pay for people who have too many kids to work.

So, I work with a fantastic accountant that just tells me if what I’m planning is right or not. There’s a huge level of trust between us for me to listen without knowing myself, but that’s the point. You need to find the people who can do the things you can’t at an unreal level, and then trust them to do what’s right.

4. Trust Yourself.

Even having grown up with a very strong internal sense of what was right and wrong, outside influences still got to me. When I first entered the work force, I thought money would be the solution to all my desires. And really, it’s a little like air – if you don’t have enough people do tend to suffocate.

What I didn’t know was that the idea of happiness in my head didn’t completely resonate with the advice I was being given. Part of it did, or I wouldn’t have followed it at all.

When I quite that first company, Everyone told me to wait until I had another job lined up. But that wasn’t for me – I needed some time to recoup and recover. After an extended vacation, I found a job within a few weeks.

5. Write Your Story.

It’s imperative that you take responsibility for your life. The decisions and choices you make should be conscious, and based on your own thought. No excuses, no one to blame. And if it doesn’t work out the way you want, that’s OK, because you have a chance to learn something.

Trusting my instincts, even when they didn’t necessarily make sense to anyone else, has always moved me further along than blindly following the advice someone else gave me.

You know Yourself, so make the decisions that feel best to you. To make the first move, if you could do one things to make your life better in any aspect, where would you start?

8 thoughts on “How To Rock At Life: 5 Easy Rules

  1. Great post with a lot of good advice! I really like number five. Taking responsibility for your life is so important… even when things don’t go your way. I think so many people look at their circumstances and blame them for why they are not at a certain place in life. When you have excuses and blame others for where you’re at, all it will do is bring you down even more. You need to stay positive and look at everything as a learning experience. ..Great post!! :]

    “Trusting my instincts, even when they didn’t necessarily make sense to anyone else, has always moved me further along than blindly following the advice someone else gave me.”

    I love this statement and totally agree with it!

  2. I absolutely loved your style of expressing these ideas. Of all the things I’ve been reading, watching, discussing; these are repeated and so important. Like you, I followed the same route and now seeing how best to get out of it and start following what I really want. What that is? I’m still exploring. Thank you for igniting that flame again.

  3. Great article with a lot of great advice here, Jess. I am trying to follow all of these points right now. If I could do one thing to change my life for the better right now, it would definitely be quitting my job.

    I love the fact that you mentioned quitting your job without having another one lined up, because that is what I’m fighting right now. I’m working in a very bad environment and everyone keeps telling me, “don’t quit until you have something else lined up”, but all I can think about is, “I need to get the hell out of here before it ruins my health”. Very inspiring to hear that you did just that, and I would love to hear more about how you did it!


    • Thanks Doug!

      I will be happy to write about quitting without something else in place!

      In the mean time though, here’s a couple quick points:
      1.Not having a job doesn’t mean not having a plan. I had some savings and liquidity, and I willing to work a temp job if it came down to it.
      2. I believed without any doubt that everything would work out the way I wanted it to. There was 0 question.

      Good luck! And thank you for posting!

  4. Hey lovebug Jess 🙂

    Your article speaks the truth. These are my own little addons :

    1. Know Yourself
    *personally, I recommend journaling or some other form of unhindered self expression, like video journaling, or even just recording yourself speak with a phone. giving yourself room to speak (or write exactly what’s on your mind, and then continue to write allows you to access your subconscious which is an extremely useful tool for knowing oneself.

    2. Do The Things You’re Great At!
    * alternatively, the things you are *aching* to be good at. the things which light you up inside. you may not be great at them yet, but burning desire and passion to learn something is always a good indicator of something which will bring flow into your life.

    3. Hire Someone to Do The Rest
    *all I can say here is YES 🙂 hire the sexy, smart, mind blowingly awesome consultant. hire the coder. hire the house cleaner. it’s not only an opportunity to focus more on what you love, but you have the privilege of working with another god/goddess in their beautiful business path and nurture them with your money as they nurture you with their services. it’s magical.

    4. Trust Yourself
    *again, YES. your intuition is strongly connected to both your deepest desires, and your subconscious. sometimes you just have to trust a decision you feel is right, even if you can’t see the big picture. in fact, i feel like i’m going on gut and soul alone a big percent of the time, but things always fall into their perfect places, and i’m so grateful for that trust in myself

    5.Write Your Story
    *I operate from the fact, that I CHOSE all my circumstances, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. I’m not placing blame a=on anyone, or myself, but I allow myself to accept what is and take responsibility for my life. It’s empowering. Freeing. (see this article :

    Love, Robin Robison

    • Hey Robin!
      You made a lot of great points – I tend to be more introverted, but I love the option of just recording your thoughts! I also particularly agree with your caveat to point 2. Doing what makes you feel great inside, should ultimately lead you to being great at it. The real point to it all is living a quality life, and when you feel your greatness, you are on the right path!
      No regrets is a great way to live!

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